Making a mistake in a spreadsheet; take the boat out of your lane; or choose the wrong career path. Failure, in many different guises, affects all of us at some point, even the most successful of us.
Ever heard of the old saying, “form is temporary, class is permanent”, and failure can be just that – temporary. In fact, I know from my own journey that with the right mindset and attitude, failure can become the very thing that pushes you toward greater things.
It’s really about reframing what you think you know about failure and recognizing that two steps forward and one step back is an often necessary attribute of the path to success.
Of course this is easier said than done. Our culture rewards those who strive for perfection, but as we all know, perfection doesn’t exist, so why hold on to such unrealistic expectations?
It’s not about deciding what to do when you fail, but about knowing how to respond when you fail.
Five ways to be good friends with failures:
#1: Understand the Cause
To accept your failure, you must have the courage to stand up and face your fear. Never underestimate how important this first phase really is. It is a natural human reaction to try to turn one’s back on uncomfortable situations and emotions. After all, we’ve all made a mistake and tried to bury it under the sand, pass credit or make excuses.
However, if you really want to grow and embrace failure, this is just not an option anymore.
In the immediate aftermath of something going wrong, don’t worry about trying to fix a mistake or who might have been affected – first of all, you need to understand what went wrong.
Admit it, and instead of beating yourself up, realistically assess the outcome of your misstep and why you let it happen. It is crucial to do this for everything.
#2: Take Ownership
Once you’ve determined the how, why, what of what went wrong, and how to avoid this problem in the future, it’s time to take ownership.
Whether you’re an employee or a business owner, everyone in that organization will want you to summon the maturity, courage, and strength of character to say that something didn’t quite go the way you wanted it to.
This does not have to be a lengthy process. It’s as easy as sitting down with your colleagues, or even alone, investigating why your start-up failed, why you forgot to send that important email, and most importantly, what you’re doing to make sure it’s successful. doesn’t happen again.
#3: Learn your lesson
Learning from your failure is the most important aspect of making peace with yourself. When you rearrange your thought process, you can give yourself the space to turn failure into opportunity.
Think of a great achievement in your life—that promotion, buying your first home, or having kids—each of these requirements required some aspect of changing the way you think, especially the later ones.
The same goes for when you make mistakes – what’s the point in hammering yourself on something that is inherently human? And those are all mistakes, and ultimately so are failures.
Once you have looked at yourself in the mirror and you have accepted your destiny, you promise to learn something from it.
However, give yourself a pat on the back before continuing. Although, yes, you made a mistake somewhere, celebrate the fact that you learned something new on your journey.
Often it is not the fault itself that causes the damage. It is the lasting impact of not being able to control your guilt and regret.
Don’t let the experience of failure spoil your future; don’t let it dictate your life and how you go about pursuing success. Repeating your past over and over and wishing things had been different doesn’t solve anything.
Life isn’t fair, it never has been and never will be; never fall into the trap of feeling like you are a victim, you are not and it is important to come to terms with that and move on.
Forgiving yourself is the most important part of embracing failure. You slip into the victim trap if you cling to those memories as a negative experience. Instead, constantly remind yourself of what you have learned during this time.
#5: Share your experience
Sharing your experiences of what you’ve learned with those around you is a great way to free yourself from the shackles of failure. That said, though, it’s important to frame your story appropriately whether you’re speaking as an employer, employee, or even a friend.
Don’t pull the usual phrase of, “Jeez, I’m so stupid, guess what happened to me a few weeks ago.” Don’t give yourself the chance to fall into old habits and reclaim your own story.
Lead the story with your newfound point of view: “Guess what happened to me a few weeks ago. It was a tough day, but I learned a really hard lesson.”
By telling the story in this way, you can incorporate each of the five points we talked about in this piece.